12 tips when orientating your new domestic helper

Give her the home and neighbourhood tour

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Physical orientation is the first and most obvious box to check off. Familiarise your helper with every nook and cranny of your home, introducing key areas, exits and storage spaces. Clearly labelling things around the house can help, like drawers, cupboards, and hidden storage spaces, for instance. Drawing a detailed map can also be helpful, particularly if you have a large home. Pro tip: Don’t stop within the house. Take her around the neighbourhood and show her where the garbage disposal is, where she can take a bus, buy emergency groceries or food, and where the nearest clinic is.

Grant access where needed

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Next, give her access to your home, i.e. with a set of keys, or by registering her fingerprint on your digital door lock. Show her everything she needs to know when entering or exiting your home, e.g. how to scan the access card, how to scan her fingerprint or use a security code, and how to lock the door when leaving. Also give her the password to your Wi-Fi network so she can get connected, and provide her with a phone if she does not have one. This is important if she needs to contact you in an emergency situation, but kindly allowing her to call home once she arrives at your place can also help put her and her family at ease.

Set clear and firm ground rules

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Setting ground rules at the outset can help to prevent headaches later. When giving her access to your home, you might want to let her know if she’s allowed to invite anyone into the house. Same thing for when giving her access to Wi-Fi – you may wish to communicate or reiterate rules about phone usage. Many employers struggle with their domestic helpers using the phone during work hours, so be sure to set clear rules and boundaries regarding when she is allowed to use the phone (e.g. 7pm to 7am), when she should absolutely not be using it (e.g. when taking care of the baby), and when she may use it on occasion (e.g. when you’re out and she needs to reach you in an emergency).

Every household is different, so consider what you can accept and what you completely cannot tolerate, communicating these rules clearly to her so as to avoid future misunderstanding and offence.

Consider starting an employee handbook

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While this might sound over the top, being able to present her with a detailed handbook on arrival would be ideal. It means far less room for misunderstandings. Even if you have no time to write down every niggling detail, consider starting a notebook that she can continue to take notes in while learning on the job. Your handbook should ideally read like an SOP (standard operating procedures) manual, giving clear step-by-step directions for every task expected of her. Suggested content headings can include “House rules”, Daily schedule”, “Safety protocol”, “Hygiene guidelines”, “Baby routine”, “Cooking recipes”, “Cleaning instructions”, “Laundry directions”, etc. The clearer and more specific your instructions are, the better she is set up to be good at her job.

Show her how exactly to operate the technology in your home

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This is important, especially for fresh domestic helpers who are working for the first time in Singapore and may not have had experience with many appliances before. Even transfer helpers will need some orientation and guidance around your appliances since she may not have used ones exactly like yours. Take the time to show her how to use the electronics around the house, particularly the cooking appliances, laundry and ironing appliances, cleaning appliances, and even the more common appliances like the air conditioning units, water heaters, lights, fans, etc.

Err on the side of over-explanation, so she can learn at ease without worry about appearing ignorant or asking too many questions. Some helpers are too shy to ask, especially when they don’t have a good command of the English language, so it helps to explain, label, and draw things when necessary.

Train her on safety and emergency protocol

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It’s important to prioritise your helper’s well-being, and this includes training her on safety and health protocols. It’s always prudent not to assume existing knowledge, but to educate your helper from the ground up. This could include educating her on what can and cannot be microwaved (e.g. metals, aluminum foil, single-use plastic, takeout containers, water, fabric, etc.), how to prevent fire hazards (e.g. correct placement of iron, stove safety, etc.), not using electrical appliances near water, and most important of all — child safety (i.e. being vigilant around the main hazards of choking, falling, cutting, suffocating, drowning, poisoning, scalding, etc.).

At the same time, give clear instructions about what to do in an emergency, such whom to call or where to go. Make sure you have a first-aid kit at home, and show her how to use it. Sending her for a first-aid course is a sound investment.

Establish health and hygiene standards

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Again, this may seem basic to us, but since she might be coming from a developing country, it would be wise to thoroughly train your new helper on health and hygiene matters. Personal hygiene can be touched upon, and you may wish to specify that she keeps her nails short, or wears a chef’s hat or hairnet when cooking. With Covid-19 still mutating and lingering, you may also want to educate her on mask-wearing, handwashing and sanitising, providing her with the necessary masks and sanitisers to stay safe. Hand hygiene is crucial, especially prior to food preparation, so spend some time on that. Food hygiene and handling (e.g. separating raw from cooked foods), food storage, safe reheating, leftover lifespans and checking product expiration dates are all important matters to teach her. Waste handling, toilet hygiene, clean linen handling are some other topics, and if you have pets and children — how to care for them and their toilet needs hygienically.

Explain the family dynamics

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Family culture might be hard to explain in one sitting, but if you could think of what is important to you and your spouse in terms of housekeeping or lifestyle, you may be able to distil some of your family’s essence into easily understood terms. Perhaps you have religious traditions that you need her to understand and observe, or maybe it’s about your in-laws or extended family when they come over. It could be about your privacy as a couple in the evening — maybe you want her to retire to her room after a certain time to protect your personal space. Maybe it’s the particular way your husband likes his clothes pressed, or how you need your throw cushions to be arranged in a certain order — let her know as soon as you think of it! In turn, making an effort to understand her traditions and customs, and making allowances for them, can go a long way towards showing her respect and making her feel comfortable in her new surroundings.

Set out procedures for taking care of your children or pets

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This is a BIG one — how to take care of your most vulnerable and precious darlings in the house. It’s best to train your new helper on the go, observe and make corrections before leaving her to deal with your kids or pets alone. Prepare a written schedule for her to make her childminding work easier, detailing what time to wake and feed the baby, when to bathe or shower them, when and how to put them to nap or bed, when and how to play with them, etc. The same sort of schedule can be set out for your pets, including when to walk the dog, what food to dispense at what time of day, when to clear the cat litter, when and how to groom them, etc. Be as specific as you can about any hard rules, such as no screen time for baby, or zero phone usage while walking the dog.

Give her a culinary crash course

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Food is another major matter, since good food can put you in a good mood, and bad food… well, suffice to say, no one in the house will be very happy. Convey your expectations regarding meal preparation as clearly as you possibly can, including expected meal times because no one wants a hangry husband. Share your favourite dishes, preferred recipes, dietary restrictions, special likes and dislikes, as well as how you’d like your meals to be served — hot, warm or cooled, for instance, and in which particular crockery. Show her how to set the table the way you like it, and if necessary, send her for cooking classes. This too is likely to be a worthwhile investment.

Establish rest time guidelines

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While MOM (Ministry of Manpower) has stipulated guidelines about the minimum amount of rest (eight continuous hours) and meals (three) a helper is entitled to in a day, you are likely to have your own schedule for your helper. Remember that she needs adequate rest in order to perform well, and that a healthy sustainable schedule incorporating enough time for rest and relaxation is the key for longevity. Needless to say, she should be well-fed if you expect her to work hard. This means ensuring she has nutritious meals, sufficient water and rest. You might like to give her a food allowance, let her cook her own meals, or eat what the family eats.

To avoid confusion, it is best to clearly designate hours for mealtimes and rest. Also discuss any expected and forbidden behaviour on her rest days (e.g. dress code, vices, places you are not comfortable with her visiting perhaps), curfews and which shared spaces she can rest in during her free time.

Lay out the communication groundwork

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If English isn’t her first, or even second language, consider giving her a dictionary or English book so she can read during her free time. This can be very helpful if she’s from Indonesia or Myanmar. More than trying to improve her language skills, however, it is important also to initiate regular two-way communication. Let her know that she can approach you with questions anytime and ask for your help should she experience any difficulties. Troubleshoot and correct her mistakes as soon as you notice them, keeping short accounts instead of storing up frustrations for a big blow-up.

Have quick, easy chats with her as often as you can — these will help her feel more comfortable settling into your home, and also lay the foundations for a good relationship between the two of you. At the heart of it, this is a new and important relationship you need to manage, and it’s best to start off on the right foot. Happy orientation, and good luck!

This article was originally published in Singapore Women's Weekly.