6 survival tips for your first CNY as newlyweds

1. Get familiar with angbao etiquette

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Let’s start with an easy one – red packets. Needless to say, your parents and grandparents, along with unmarried relatives will expect to receive an angbao from you. Some older unmarried relatives might respectfully reject the gesture, so take it all in good nature. The amount gifted should always be an even number, since even numbers are deemed lucky. In particular, amounts that end with the number eight, like $28, $88 or $188, is considered especially auspicious. Using crisp new notes is also desirable though younger folks are increasingly receptive to receiving e-angbaos.

2. Plan your visiting schedule

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It is normally considered respectful to visit your husband’s parents first before yours. The first day also tends to be reserved for the more “senior” relatives; and certain families will expect you to visit relatives according to their birth order. This means, you will visit your first uncle, followed by the second and then third. When in doubt, consult your parents (and his) for the most appropriate visiting order and plan your schedule accordingly. Also, remember to bring extra mandarin oranges with you – they represent wealth and luck. Visitors and the hosts will “exchange” a pair of oranges and accompanying well wishes. But in the busyness of festivities, it is not uncommon to forget to grab your oranges on the way out.

3. What are your roles and responsibilities?

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CNY can be chaotic in large extended families. Decide in advance who carries and disburses the red packets to keep things organised. If you are playing host, split your duties if need be if you are expecting a large party. Someone will need to be in charge of the food and drinks, while the more outgoing between you might take the lead in entertaining the guests that can range from the elderly to little kids.

4. Observe each family’s customs

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Since it’s your first Chinese New Year together, you might not be clued in to what each other’s family traditions and rituals are. If you live with the in-laws, you need to be proactive in finding out their “rules” to avoid offending anyone. For instance, some families might deem dark-coloured clothing a no-go for CNY or avoid sweeping the floor or even washing the hair on the first day. Discussing and sharing what is expected will help you better navigate this festive period with grace.

5. To cook or order in?

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If you are intending to impress the in-laws with your expert knowledge of “lucky” foods, you can consider serving items like yusheng, nian gao, fish, or longevity noodles, just to name a few examples. To ease your burden, you can even order in a steamboat feast from restaurants like Haidilao or Beauty in the Pot. More importantly, be sure to find out if any of your guests have any dietary restrictions before you decide on your menu.

6. Create your own traditions

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Finally, this is the perfect time to establish your own Chinese New Year traditions as a couple. Be it simply establishing your visiting schedule, counting down together, decking out your new matrimonial home with festive decorations or cooking a special dish, you can make it uniquely yours and create a ritual for years to come that you’ll share with your kids later. Above all, Chinese New Year is about drawing loved ones together and sharing good food and abundance — so enjoy your first CNY together and make it one you’d love to replicate time and time again.


This article was originally published in Singapore Women's Weekly.