Are you in a toxic work environment? Here’s how to deal with it

Her World’s “Can We Just Talk: Career Edition” is based on our 2024 What Women Want survey, which is an islandwide questionnaire where we profiled Singaporean women largely between 25 to their 40s to find out their thoughts on the most pressing issues when it comes to the career and the workplace.

In this episode, life coach and founder of Sheens Consulting and Getting To Happy, Shireena Shroff Manchharam and Her World digital editor Chery Chan dive into the subject of toxic work environments — what to do when you find yourself in one, and the things you can try to do before throwing in that resignation letter.

Trigger Warning: Discussions of disordered eating

Put a finger down if you’ve ever quit a job without having another one lined up. Now put another down if this was due to a toxic work environment, bad management or burnout. Well, if you have a couple of fingers down, you won’t be surprised to know that at least half of our readers feel the same.

According to Her World’s What Women Want 2024, 54% of our readers have quit their jobs blindly, and within that group, 63% cite a toxic work environment as a key reason and 57% referenced burnout. 

As more and more Singaporeans strive to find meaning in their lives by prioritising work-life balance, what should you do when faced with a situation like this? And what should you do before deciding on quitting?

What defines a toxic work environment?

Before we talk about solutions, let’s talk about understanding the problem. What is the definition of a toxic work environment?

“The word toxic is a term people throw out very easily,” Digital Editor Cheryl Chan posits. “But what is the actual difference between a work environment that’s really harmful to your career progression versus a situation where you might need to build a little bit more mental resilience?” 

According to Her World Tribe member, life coach and founder of Sheens Consulting and Getting To Happy, Shireena Shroff Manchharam, the lines between daily work stress and a legit toxic work environment might be blurry, but it boils down to one key factor – is the stress short term or long term?

“Short-term stress isn’t actually bad for us. It keeps us energised and motivates us to make changes in our lives,” Shireena shares. 

Some examples are urgent projects that have to be completed in a limited time frame or busy quarters due to extra holiday campaigns; those situations are okay because you know that they will eventually come to an end.

“Long-term stress is the one where we don’t ever see the light of day from, and that can turn into burnout. You come to work feeling exhausted, fatigued and a general sense of hopelessness. This could be the result of harassment at work, poor leadership, unrealistic expectations, instability due to high employee turnover rates and poor communication within the organisation.”

“If your daily tasks start to feel impossible, or if your mood and personality have completely changed, then these are key indicators that you might be suffering from depressive or anxious symptoms,” Shireena warns.

Why blindly quitting isn’t the only answer

While quitting your job is tempting (no job, no job problems!), Shireena warns against quitting impulsively and encourages her clients to try dealing with what’s in their control before throwing in the towel.

This could look like opening up to a trusted person in the organisation, communicating your needs and issues or drawing boundaries against unrealistic expectations. 

“We’re very fearful of communicating nowadays. And if we quit without trying, we actually carry that fear into the next job we go into,” Shireen shares. 

But what if you’re in a startup with only five people in the company and no HR department for you to count on? That was the case for Cheryl when she wanted to leave her previous job as she was starting to develop signs of depression and could barely function daily.

“I didn’t have a job lined up at the time, so I had no choice but to suck it up right? The alternative was to quit but I had rent and bills to pay and was not willing to tap into my savings at that point,” Cheryl openly shared. 

Shireena acknowledges the sentiment and understands that while it can be depressing to stay in a toxic environment, quitting without a plan is not the answer either, as draining your savings or not being able to find a replacement job that you’re happy with could lead to a different stressful situation altogether.

Though it’s important to remember, no job is worth your physical and mental well-being. 

“It doesn’t mean you just suck it up every time,” Shireena notes. “When your physical and mental health is being affected, you do need to seek out help. Whether it’s professionally within the organisation or externally.”

Managing a stressful work situation

So, if quitting isn’t the answer, what CAN you do to manage your situation? It starts with taking care of your own needs. Are you eating right, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep to give you the energy to get through the day? According to Shireena, you’d be surprised how many of her clients aren’t mindful of these things, and then question the exhaustion and lack of energy.

“Happiness takes effort, and there are things we can do within our control. Sleep is super important. I have clients who tell me that they are burnt out, but they also admit to watching Netflix ‘til 3 am,” Shireena muses.

Cheryl agrees and recalls a situation where she developed disordered eating patterns due to stress. “I was listening to a podcast where a therapist was recounting a session with a client who shared similar eating habits. And he said to her “You’re telling me that you basically didn’t eat all day and now you’re asking me why you don’t have any energy at work?” And when I heard that it was a lightbulb moment for me – if I’m not taking care of my physical wellbeing, how was I going to be physically capable at work and managing all these experiences?”

What can one do when faced with challenging work situations? Shireena recommends setting yourself up with a mental toolbox of things that could help ground you such as creating a playlist of songs you love that you could tap into over a five-minute break, breathing techniques, or a short walk outside during lunch to get fresh air. 

“Before you begin your day, I advise people to set an intention,” Shireena says. “It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be “My intention for today is to dissociate from the company and be grateful for the salary that I get so that I can provide for my children,” and then disengage from your work environment.”

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