How to quit your job without burning bridges

When it comes to leaving a job, there are many scenarios and factors to consider. Should you reveal where you’re going? What happens if the job offer is rescinded?

We searched Reddit for real-life questions, and consulted HR experts on how to navigate these tricky situations.

*Questions and answers have been edited for clarity

The Experts

• TUYEN DO, principal career coach, The Happy Mondays
• SHIYA GUAN, associate director, Michael Page Singapore
• SABRINA HO, founder and CEO, Half The Sky
• ELENA CHOW, founder, Connect One

Tuyen Do (TD): Your next career move is ultimately your decision, and you control how much you wish to share. If you prefer to keep things private, you could say, “I’m pursuing opportunities aligned with my long-term goals, and am still in the process of deciding.” Withholding details can help you avoid potential biases or challenges. Ultimately, a formal notice is all that’s required.

Shiya Guan (SG): You are not legally obligated to disclose the name of your next employer. If you’re uncomfortable sharing, you could say something like “I prefer to keep this private for now, and I appreciate your understanding” or “I haven’t finalised my plans yet, but I’ll be sure to keep in touch”.

Alternatively, you could explain your reasons for leaving without specifying your next employer. Focus on aspects such as career goals, growth opportunities, personal reasons, or what this new role offers that aligns with your aspirations.

Sabrina Ho (SH): It’s common for employers to be curious, but you’re not obligated to share specifics. A polite but firm response, like “I’m excited about new opportunities that align with my personal and professional goals” can provide closure without oversharing.

Elena Chow (EC): Share honestly if you believe it helps your colleagues and the organisation. Don’t do it out of spite or from a place of frustration. If possible, ask to answer the questions on paper so you do not have to be put on the spot.

TD: While you may want to provide feedback to benefit future employees, it’s important to recognise that HR usually aggregates and summarises feedback from exit interviews to highlight key themes for management. With this in mind, consider what’s most constructive to share, such as areas for improvement.

SG: Providing honest and constructive feedback during the exit interview benefits you, the organisation and your colleagues in improving their work environment and processes. Frame your comments professionally, and focus on specific issues rather than your own personal grievances.

TD: Staying focused on your decision and keeping the conversation respectful can help you manage your response effectively. You can first acknowledge your boss’ reaction to validate her feelings and defuse tension, then reinforce your decision by briefly clarifying that your decision aligns with your personal and professional growth. You can also show consideration to your boss and your team by showing your willingness to collaborate on a smooth transition and handover.

SG: If your boss tries to make you feel guilty, remain firm yet respectful in your decision. You can reiterate your reasons for leaving, emphasising that it’s a personal choice for your professional growth. Shift the conversation to practical matters by asking questions like, “How would you like me to handle the handover process?” or “How can I assist during this transition period?”

This shows your commitment to leaving on good terms and supporting the team. Maintaining professionalism throughout the process will help preserve your reputation and relationships with your boss.

Nobody is irreplaceable in the company. Always think about your own personal and professional growth and well-being, instead of being too focused on loyalty or what your bosses want.

SH: If your boss tries to make you feel bad, stay calm and remind yourself why you made this choice. A gracious response – like “I’ve valued working here and am grateful for the experience, but I need to prioritise my next career step” – keeps the focus on your goals, and the conversation positive. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries.

TD: Treat this as a moment to realign and strengthen your career strategy. Re-engage with your network, update your skills, or consider short-term projects that could bridge any gaps and keep you active in your field. This is also an excellent time to evaluate your broader career goals, and identify any new directions or skills worth pursuing.

SG: Review the terms of the offer letter to understand your rights. You might want to consider reaching out to your previous employer as well to discuss the possibility of return if you left on good terms.

Explain the situation honestly, and express your interest in returning if possible. Simultaneously, re-engage your professional network and explore other job opportunities to minimise the duration of unemployment.

SH: While a rescinded offer can be discouraging, it doesn’t define your worth or future. Use this time to reflect on what you’re looking for in your next job, and don’t hesitate to continue conversations with other potential employers.

If appropriate, consider seeking feedback from the company that rescinded the offer to understand if factors outside your control – such as budget cuts or market shifts – played a role, which can guide your future job search.

TD: It depends. Being friends with your boss isn’t an adequate reason to overshare. Consider your culture and environment, and reflect on how previous departures were handled.

SG: If you have a good relationship, giving them a heads up that you’re planning to quit can show respect, and allows more time to plan for a smoother transition. It’s crucial to also follow up with a formal resignation process outlined in your employment contract.

SH: Not all managers react positively – even if the relationship is good. Think about the timing, and choose a moment that allows you to leave on great terms, without compromising your own plans. Trust your instincts; if the relationship is truly strong, they’ll appreciate your transparency.

EC: Only if you are very sure. Even if you think the relationship is good, it’s better to tread with caution as you may not be able to predict their response. Consider how your boss has treated previous resignations before you decide to share. 

TD: Carefully consider what will truly benefit your long-term career trajectory. Take time to weigh both offers, assess your motivations for each role, and evaluate how each aligns with your values, aptitude, goals, and potential for growth. If the second offer is clearly a better fit, inform the first employer as soon as possible and respectfully.

SG: Once you have signed an employment contract, you are legally bound to its terms. If you wish to accept a better offer, review the contract for clauses relating to termination, notice periods, compensation, or specific steps to follow. It’s important to communicate transparently with the new employer, express your decision professionally, and understand any potential legal or reputational implications.

EC: Only if it’s a dream job and one that you absolutely cannot miss – for instance, an overseas opportunity that you’ve always dreamt of, doubling your salary or the top company in your industry. Otherwise, this is a no-no. 

TD: It’s essential to identify the reasons for such behaviour. Consider setting up a conversation to clarify expectations, discuss priorities, or share your preferred work style. Sometimes, tension arises simply from adjusting to a new role or personality, and – with time – the relationship may prove to be manageable.

If you’re experiencing clear patterns of unprofessional behaviour – such as undermining, lack of support, or even bullying – you may want to approach HR or a trusted mentor. If the misalignment remains unresolvable and begins to impact your ability to thrive, it may be worth considering other options.

SG: Before deciding to resign, let the direct boss know the issues you face in a professional manner. You may also consider speaking with HR or an employee relations representative. If the situation doesn’t improve, you could explore internal transfer opportunities within the organisation as well.

You also need to assess if this is a personality clash or another reason. Assess the frequency and severity of these conflicts, before making a final decision.

EC: Consider ways to resolve the situation by having an open conversation and making an effort to understand your boss first. It’s good practice to try to address these issues before deciding to leave.

If things improve as a result of your efforts, it will be a positive experience you can share with future employers, highlighting your resilience, grit and problem-solving skills.