Janice Koh on rediscovering her voice post tongue cancer

When Janice Koh was diagnosed with tongue cancer last year at the age of 49, one of her initial reactions – apart from fear and grief – was relief. 

“I was texting a friend two days after my surgery, and I told her, ‘What does it mean that I feel a sense of relief? I’m grieving, but I’m also relieved that I can finally let go of that part of my work’,” she shares. 

The part of her work that she’s referring to is the self doubt, insecurity and imposter syndrome that comes with being a public figure. 

Janice is one of Singapore’s most respected thespians, having started her career in theatre in 1992. She became a household name when she took on the role of ambitious lawyer Angela Ang in Channel 5’s drama The Pupil, and she has won multiple awards for her performances. She leapt on the global stage when she appeared as Felicity Young in Crazy Rich Asians, and received France’s highest cultural award, the Chevalier de l’Ordre des Arts et des Lettres in 2022 for her contributions to the arts, both as an acclaimed performer as well as the role she has played in championing local talent and productions in Singapore and overseas. 

Still, despite her fame and multiple awards, the sense of insecurity never quite left her. “As an actor, and I can’t speak for all actors, but certainly for me, there is a slightly dysfunctional relationship with the work. Can you imagine being in a career where you have to constantly prove that you are worthy, over and over again, for every single job?” she asks, referring to the fact that it is normal for even experienced actors to audition for some TV and movie roles. 

“It doesn’t matter if you’re mid career, early career or late in your career, it never gets easier when you are turned down for a part. Even if you’ve been given the role, you still think ‘Am I good enough?’ As much as you give yourself the benefit of doubt, the nature of being a performer is the very visible way in which you are being appraised for your craft – by the producers, the critics, the audience, and the box office.”

So when Janice realised that she wouldn’t be able to perform again, she was confronted with a very real “complex and complicated feeling of grief”. 

“You know, it’s something I’ve been doing for more than 30 years,” she says, adding, “So could I let go of that?” 

It’s been more than a year since the diagnosis and surgery, and Janice seems to be in a better place. A recurring theme of this conversation centres around acceptance – “It is what it is” is a phrase that comes up a lot. 

That’s a tall order for a self-confessed “type A, perfectionist” who’s very much a doer. “I’m not the type of person who sits back and complains,” she says, explaining that when she first started out in the industry, she also took on a masters degree in theatre administration. 

“I was 22 by the time I graduated, and wanted to make a career in the industry, but I was aware that it was severely underdeveloped. I loved acting, but it seemed near impossible to make a living from it. So I decided that going into arts administration would allow me to influence it positively somehow. At night, I’d be in rehearsal or on stage, and in my day job, I would find ways to help the industry develop, and help arts groups get access to enough funding, arts housing, training, and so on.” 

It’s no secret that Singapore’s arts industry was nascent when she first started 30 years ago. Wild Rice didn’t have its swanky theatre at Funan Mall, and you almost never heard a Singapore musician on the radio. 

In fact, she says that things only started changing for the better 10 years ago, when the government announced the cultural matching fund, which helped arts companies raise enough funds to support their endeavours. This was actually something that Janice had advocated for when she enlisted as a nominated member of parliament (NMP) in 2012. During her two-and-a-half-year tenure as NMP, she also pushed for looser censorship regulations in the arts space.  

In September this year, the National Arts Council also launched Our SG Arts Plan, an initiative that aims to grow the arts scene in Singapore, and provide more support to creatives. 

Janice believes that SG50 was another catalyst. Suddenly, there was a great pride in “made in Singapore”, whether it’s fashion, food or even tech. 

“In the last 10 years, we have been more active in profiling Singapore-made products, and showcasing brands that we’re proud to call our own. That has had a knock-on effect on how we feel about our cultural products too, including Singapore films and music. I think we have a bit more cultural confidence now,” she muses. 

There are many factors that have contributed to this phenomenon, including a host of micro and macro factors such as support from the government, as well as the popularity of Asian culture in the West. 

Still, advocating for Singapore’s arts industry remains close to Janice’s heart. While she believes that great progress has been made in recent years, she adds that the ecosystem is not perfect. 

“How well are ethnic traditional art forms, or even contemporary art forms like dance, doing? I think there’s been a lot of progress, but that progress hasn’t been equal,” she says.

But she’s not giving up: “I was at an art event recently, and I jokingly said to someone, ‘You can’t get rid of me that easily.’ Of course, I didn’t mean that in a negative way, but rather, art has been such a big part of my life. Even as I pivot away from being on stage or in front of the camera, I still feel I have so much to contribute to this industry.”

Grappling with change 

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Looking at a life-changing event like cancer through the lens of gratitude is a powerful way of redefining your own narrative. Janice has spoken openly about how she has grieved – and is still grieving – losing a part of her tongue, her voice and her career, but it’s also proven to be a life-defining moment. 

In the past year, she’s had to grapple with a complete overhaul of her life. Six weeks after her surgery, she went on a ski trip to France with her two sons, 19-year-old Max and 17-year-old Lucas, and her husband, former Sports Hub CEO Lionel Yeo. Mid-way through the first day, she realised that she was too tired to continue – a daunting realisation for someone as sporty as her. 

She picked up her skis, walked back to the hotel, and cried the entire way back.  

“I cried because I couldn’t believe how weak I had become,” she says. 

But she also realised something that day:  “As a sport, skiing is part being in control and part letting go. [It became an analogy] that I had to accept that I can’t always be in control. It helped me see and accept that my treatment had been hard, that my journey is hard. I realised that I couldn’t attack life in the same way, and it was ok to be soft, to be fragile, and to take a break.” 

Living with a question 

Right now, however, Janice is in that transitory stage of deciphering her next move. She’s still in speech therapy, but is articulate, sharp and intentional with her words. She has a slight lisp, and says that she gets tired when she talks for too long, or has to project her voice when in a crowded space. 

But she’s kept herself incredibly active with yoga, boot camps and training, and spends quality time with family and friends. She’s enjoying the slow pace of life after 30 years of running, but reveals that she’s slightly worried about “drifting”. 

As she’s mulling over the next phase, she reveals that she’s been approached by various non-profit organisations to consider taking on a management role. She’s keen to pursue the opportunity, but would like to go back to school to equip herself with the right tools before taking on a leadership role. 

“I am seriously considering it, as it gives me an opportunity to still drive change within the art sector in a very tangible way, which I enjoy,” she shares.

For now, however, she’s become comfortable with “living with a question”. Her cancer diagnosis forced her to rethink her career, and she’s grateful that it happened when she was already established. She had already been considering her next steps pre-diagnosis, and this, she says, was the universe’s way of forcing her to act: 

“I think where life experiences have taken you, when that transformative moment happens, and how you react to it – all of this makes a difference, at which points it catches you, and also where your mind space is at that time.” 

It helps, too, that Janice has been intentional in creating “different rooms” in her life, a concept she’s borrowed from writer Brad Stulberg. 

“I think it’s healthy to build different rooms in your life like a house, and those ‘rooms’ are the different roles and identities that you may have – as a parent, an actor, a friend, a mentor, and so on. So if, at any point, a door closes on one of them, you never feel like your whole identity has crashed. You can still seek refuge in other rooms.

“Maybe you’re in one room for a longer period of time, but you’re always keeping some fluidity in how you define yourself.”

She adds, laughing: “Right now, I am in the hallway! But I feel very grateful and fortunate that there’s more than one door I can open.”

PHOTOGRAPHY Reuben Foong
CREATIVE DIRECTION AND STYLING Lena Kamarudin
ART DIRECTION Ray Ticsay
STYLIST'S ASSISTANT Jeanne Ardella
MAKEUP Mellisa Yeo, using Gucci Beauty
HAIR Leong Lim, using Kevin Murphy
COORDINATION Cheryl Lai-Lim
PHOTOGRAPHER'S ASSISTANTS Amos Lee and Ho Jia Hong
FIRST IMAGE OUTFIT CREDIT Ribbed turtleneck pullover with crossbody sash detail, pleated maxi skirt, and calfskin velvet boots, Hermes. Assorted rings, Cartier

Janice is on the cover of Her World's October 2023 issue. which also marks a milestone for Singapore's longest-standing women's magazine as we launch a new look! The October issue features three covers featuring three women who are voices of impact in Singapore: Janice Koh, Preeti Nair and Shye. Get your hands on all three collectible covers.