My Life Abroad: I moved to Stockholm for love

It took about a year for me to get the residence permit to move as a partner. The process involved a very thorough application form requiring some personal details about us and I was called in for an interview at the Swedish consulate in Singapore. During the interview, I had to answer questions from behind a glass panel to prove that our relationship was genuine. It was the most intrusive 45 minutes of my life but I like to think that I was well-prepared, mentally and emotionally.

I moved in August 2021 that same year, three months after my residence permit was approved. I was excited then, but my last few weeks in Singapore proved to be difficult as I struggled with the uncertainty of my future in Sweden. I was giving up so much of what I had known.

My boyfriend, Johan, owns his apartment in the city, so when I moved in, we mutually decided that I would contribute to the household by paying for the utilities. It is very difficult to rent apartments in Sweden because of the strict housing laws in the country so most people in big cities like Stockholm rent temporarily for about a year before purchasing a place. Most of our friends own their own homes. Our home has one bedroom, a living and dining area, and a kitchen with a balcony overlooking views of the water.

Stockholm is known as the ‘Venice of the North’ because of its beauty and proximity to the water. Growing up in Singapore, I’ve never really been able to have my own space and it's nice to be able to share a home with my best friend in a place that we can call ours. It was not until I moved that we got to experience things like fighting over who does the laundry or deciding what to watch on TV.

Since I had already been coming to Sweden for four and a half years before moving over, I was already familiar with the city and getting around. Swedish people all speak close to perfect English which has made it extremely easy for me on a day-to-day basis being here. The country values social equality and inclusiveness, and there is a high level of trust and respect for individuals. When I’ve met people here, I’ve come to find our interactions more meaningful. It hasn’t been easy making friends here per se, but I have a small group of friends who form my support group. I had to really take the initiative to try to meet new people, and it’s something I still struggle with today. Swedish people tend to keep a lot to themselves, even with their friend groups. And even though they are a friendly and warm bunch, it’s difficult to really ‘get in’. But it’s worth it because once you are, you are in for life.

I have a love-hate relationship with uncertainty, and while it is true that getting a 9-5 job would allow me to meet more people, I decided to continue doing what I love. I work alone, and this means spending large amounts of time by myself on the weekdays, but this has taught me to really enjoy my own company and to love myself more while I navigate my new life here in Stockholm.

I’m a bit of a jack of all trades: I conceptualise content with brands, as well as work on styling and social media management. I do everything from that to even developing recipes and food styling, or on-site photography. This leaves me without a typical work day because it’s really never the same. I am myself the most when I travel and it's when I feel inspired. My way of ‘working’ has allowed me to be anywhere in the world I want which I understand is not the most conventional of choices but it makes me feel alive and keeps me going. I used to work a lot from home in Stockholm alone but decided to get myself a membership at a co-working space so I have somewhere I know I can go to.

Weekends are what I look forward to the most, since I am alone a lot during the week. They start off with Friday after-work drinks with friends and maybe hopping around some bars in the city or we go home and make dinner together and have a little dinner party. I kind of love that it’s the cultural norm to hang out socially at home – it’s more comfortable and fun. We cook together, make drinks and sometimes have themed parties that always end up with games or a little boogie. Swedish society places a strong emphasis on the concept of "lagom," which roughly translates to "just the right amount" or "moderation." This philosophy extends to various aspects of life, including socialising and dining. Everything feels balanced in some way, and there is the right amount of every little thing.

I cook a lot, so my favourite way of sharing about Singaporean culture is through its food. I’ve invited friends over for Singapore-themed dinners and we do silly things like “yum seng” when making a toast, or I’ll teach them some Singlish. My friends have been extremely receptive to Singaporean food and it's so much fun being able to challenge myself to cook them.

I may joke that Sweden is not the most exciting place in the world but it is beautiful and I do not take it for granted. I feel happy with the choices I’ve made that have led me here. Of course, there are plenty of ups and downs and I’ve struggled a lot mentally, especially with the loneliness and darkness in this part of the world. But there is always something I know I can smile about here, through the little interactions I make with people on a day-to-day basis, even with my DHL man or my local tailor. The best part of it all is, I know I can always go home to Singapore anytime. It will always be there, waiting for me.