Reverse culture shock — the dark side of living abroad

The grass is always greener

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Elle, a 27-year-old doctor, moved out to Leeds when she applied there for medical school. Brimmed with the desire to learn more about British culture, she was excited to befriend the locals. While it was easy for her to meet people, initially Elle felt fitting in was difficult. As a minority in the UK, Elle had to readjust her speech by picking up the local accent, relax her buccal muscles when talking (so that the locals could understand her better) and adapt to communicate like the British, who are known for speaking in a formal and indirect manner compared to the Singapore way, which is direct and informal.

However, once she adapted to the new culture she was exposed to, she grew to love how different it was from Singapore. Elle shared, “I really enjoyed meeting and going out with the locals. People in the UK were generally quite diverse which was extremely refreshing. You could be anyone from anywhere and one simply couldn’t be labelled.”

Since her classmates came from different villages and towns within the UK, it wasn’t such a big deal to ask where one went to school. However in Singapore, education was sometimes an indicator of one’s socio-economic background. “For example, in Singapore it was a common question to ask “which school did you go to?” as if you have a 70 [percent] chance of striking out what someone’s background, academic upbringing and values may be like in their schooling exposure." she shared. "The UK was so big that no one can really know what school you went to and how your life would have been before."

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Joanne, a 26-year-old Senior Partnerships Associate for a chair manufacturer, was born and raised in Singapore to an expat family with British roots on her mum’s side. After graduating high school, she went to Surrey to study communications. Though she had the heritage inside her DNA, Joanne felt out of place with the way the British socialised as she grew up going to an American school in Singapore, where she was accustomed to American slang and cultural norms. 

“There’s a bit of slang, some cultural norms, and other soft skills unique to the UK that I wasn’t too familiar with during my first year or so,” said Joanne. 

However, she found the time to adjust to the culture by going to pubs. Although she doesn’t drink compared to her peers, Joanne says that she was “trying out different Sunday roasts at various pubs when I could find the time” in between studying for exams and assignments.

In the midst of overcoming culture shock, Joanne and Elle have successfully adapted to making the UK like home prior to the beginning of COVID-19.

Reality Bites

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Initially, going back to Singapore was a journey that Elle was excited about as the UK faced severe criticism for how they handled the Covid-19 situation. She felt that the “excitement of life in a big city” like Singapore was a better prospect as Leeds was a comparatively smaller city.She decided to move back home after 6.5 years in the UK. However, coming back home was not what she expected.

In 2021, when Elle found work as a doctor at the height of Covid in Singapore, she struggled to be understood at work. Elle’s Singaporean colleagues pointed out that she sounded "ang moh" because of the way she spoke English, which was sometimes tinged with a British accent due to her time spent in Leeds. She had to “relearn how to sound more Singaporean to fit in at times” by peppering her speech with Singlish. However, the language barrier wasn’t the only obstacle.

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The working culture in Singapore vs. Leeds left Elle feeling that there was a lack of balance at home. In the UK, Elle’s colleagues were “super friendly[,] open and very personable” as they would “would literally discuss horoscopes at lunch time and their family lives and children”. Whereas in Singapore, Elle said that her peers did not discuss personal topics, and would rather retain professional boundaries. Another perk that Elle missed most about the UK was that “It was so rare that anyone would contact you on your annual leave or before or after hours or on a bank holiday”. She felt that Singapore had a 24/7 working culture that took some time to adjust to.

Impacted by the pandemic, Joanne had to return to Singapore in [month] 2020 as in-person classes were suspended in Surrey. She was “a little sad at first” when she had to return to Singapore as she couldn’t meet her friends. However, she was excited to get to work at a top F&B marketing firm in the strategies department “about a month from returning home”. 

Compared to Elle, Joanne did not experience reverse culture shock as intensely as her. She says, “I felt fine, to be honest. Neither good nor bad, just neutral. I thought the transition would be relatively easy, however, I didn’t anticipate myself missing my friends and coursemates as much as I did.” 

Where to go next?

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Given that spending time in Leeds broadened her mindset, she still found herself to be “much happier in Singapore in most respects” despite the difficulties of adjusting to home. While being at home offered her the familiarity and comfort of being back with family and friends, Elle feels that  “the world is indeed such a big place and yet so small at the same time” due to the possibilities of being in different locations despite the limits of needing a job offer somewhere to in order to move out. Though she is open to moving out again, Elle continues to work in the medical field in Singapore.

While being in the UK has enhanced her educational resume, Joann has decided to stay in Singapore full time as she is content with his work, family and friends on the island he calls home.