Pressing pause: Three Singaporean millennials share their career break journeys

For many women in Singapore, the pressure of proving their worth goes beyond excelling at work. It often involves the constant balancing act of juggling one’s ambition with the demands of caregiving and motherhood, while navigating workplaces where toxic cultures and subtle biases remain pervasive.

There’s also the fear of falling behind. Taking a career break often feels like an unconventional choice in a society that emphasises hustle culture. However, the mental health impact of not prioritising oneself is far greater.

In 2024, Employment Hero’s Wellness at Work Report found that 61 per cent of Singaporeans felt burnt out, with millennials making up the majority.

However, a shift is occurring as more millennial women choose to pause their careers. For some, burnout is only part of the story. Others seek time to cherish their youth, are driven by a need to care for their families, or aim to redefine what success truly means.

Here are the stories of three women who took a step back to recalibrate, each on their unique path to personal growth and change.

Choosing herself over her dream job

For Shayla Wong*, a 43-year-old senior content editor, the decision to press pause on her magazine career didn’t come lightly. “It was my dream job,” she reflects.

“I had always been passionate about my career, but that experience taught me that no job should come at the cost of one’s mental health.

”Shayla’s journey into publishing was anything but conventional. With a background in engineering and fashion merchandising, she pivoted into content creation in 2003, driven by her passion for storytelling.

“I didn’t have the traditional credentials, so I knew I had to work twice as hard,” she highlights.

 Over the years, Shayla poured herself into her work, taking on every challenge without a break, until she finally landed her big break: leading a team of journalists at one of Singapore’s top magazines.

The first few months in her role were everything she had hoped for – creative collaboration, having a thriving team, and producing meaningful stories. But when a new veteran editor joined, everything changed.

 “She would gaslight us, micromanage even the smallest tasks, and undermine our confidence. I cried myself to sleep most nights,” Shayla admits. The stress began to seep into every aspect of her life, impacting her health and her ability to enjoy time with her two-year-old son. After a miscarriage she attributed to the relentless pressure, Shayla realised she could no longer endure the toxicity.

“It took me six months to finally make the decision,” she reveals. “But I came to understand that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health or your family.”

Her career break, which began in April 2018, wasn’t the smooth escape she had envisioned. The initial weeks of yoga and relaxation gave way to a deep emotional low. “I spent days in bed, feeling empty and without purpose,” she says. 

Her husband’s patience and her mentor’s persistence became lifelines. “My mentor would text me every day, invite me to lunch, and encourage me to seek help. Even making that first call to a volunteer counsellor was daunting – I would hang up as soon as the phone started ringing.”

Drawing on her background in psychology, Shayla began processing her experiences objectively, finding compassion even for her former supervisor. “Understanding that her actions likely stemmed from insecurity was a turning point for me,” she looks back. 

Slowly, Shayla rediscovered her joy in small, intentional ways –  watching comedy shows to laugh again and reconnecting with her family. “I had never taken a break like this, so I wasn’t sure exactly how much time I would need. I wanted the process to unfold naturally. The goal wasn’t just to take time off; it was to return to work when I felt genuinely ready and restored, rather than when a calendar said I should.”

By December 2019, Shayla felt strong enough to re-enter the workforce. Freelance projects helped rebuild her confidence, and she eventually returned to publishing in a senior editorial role before pivoting to a new industry. 

Today, Shayla is thriving in a position that aligns with both her editorial expertise and her desire for meaningful, balanced work. The time she spent healing and rediscovering herself proved transformative, leaving her in a much better place both personally and professionally.

Shayla’s journey taught her the importance of prioritising mental health and embracing change. “Walking away felt like admitting defeat at first, but I’ve come to see it as the bravest choice I’ve ever made,” she declares.

Bouncing back from an eight-year career break

The decision to press pause came from a deeply personal place for 43-year-old Alia Kalistiani: the desire to reconnect with her two young children. Like Shayla, Alia faced a range of challenges – navigating her career, family responsibilities, and mental health.

Alia held demanding roles as both an architectural coordinator and project manager, overseeing project documentation, addressing technical issues, and ensuring team compliance. Though her working hours were a typical nine-to-six, the physical demands of the job, coupled with the responsibilities of breastfeeding, left her constantly drained.

Despite her best efforts to be present for her young children – aged one and six at the time – work messages often intruded on precious moments with them. “I felt disconnected from my kids,” Alia recounts.

 After much thought and discussion with her husband, she made the difficult decision to step away from her career to focus on raising her children.

Initially, the plan was to take a three-month break, regroup, and return to work. But two months into her hiatus, life threw her a curveball when her domestic helper, who had been with the family for four years, had to return to Indonesia unexpectedly. 

“I decided not to hire anyone else and to take care of everything myself,” she reveals. What started as a short pause evolved into an eight-year journey of full-time parenting, household management and self-discovery. 

“I didn’t have much savings at the time, but with my husband’s support, we adapted our lifestyle and promised ourselves that no matter what challenges arose, we’d tackle them together,” she adds. 

While Alia cherished the time spent with her children, the decision to return to work wasn’t easy. “I was concerned about my viability in the job market, having been away for eight years,” she admits. “I hadn’t kept up with industry trends, and I wasn’t sure if my skills were still relevant. I lacked confidence and wondered if I even stood a chance.”

Her turning point came when she joined Mendaki Women At Work (W@W), a programme designed to support Malay Muslim women re-entering the workforce. 

“I met many women who had also taken long career breaks, some even longer than mine,” Alia recalls. “We spoke openly about these worries, and our mentors helped us rebuild our confidence and navigate the challenges.”

Today, Alia has found her footing in a field she hadn’t initially planned for – digital marketing. As part of OPPO’s team, she’s thriving in a role that allows her to combine creativity with technical expertise. 

“Returning to work wasn’t just about finances, though that was a big motivator,” she says. “It was about finding myself again, and proving to myself that I could still contribute meaningfully,” she shares.

From wanderlust to career reboot

Unlike Shayla and Alia, Kyla Tien’s* decision to take a career break was not driven by burnout or workplace toxicity, but by the desire to live her best life in her youth. Inspired by older colleagues who expressed regret about not travelling more when they were younger, Kyla wanted to experience life before the weight of adulthood became too overwhelming.

“I’d hear from colleagues, nearly double my age, saying their biggest regret was not travelling when they were younger,” Kyla shares. “They told me that travel becomes more expensive as you get older, because the reality is that you start prioritising comfort in your later years.” 

At the time, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to act on her dream, knowing she would have fewer chances once other commitments took hold.

Towards the end of 2023, Kyla and her fiance, both 26 then, travelled for six months across continents – from Hong Kong to Istanbul – experiencing the freedom of the open road and a world of new cultures. But as much as the trip was about living in the moment, Kyla couldn’t escape the mounting financial pressures waiting for her back home.

“I realised that as much as I wanted to live for the moment, I had to balance that with planning for the future,” acknowledges the now 28-year-old.

 With a BTO and a wedding on the horizon in 2025, the need to save for these commitments weighed heavily on her. Kyla managed this pressure by maintaining a frugal lifestyle.

 “I’ve always been someone who doesn’t enjoy spending money unnecessarily,” she points out. “This mindset helped me keep my spending in check while travelling, allowing me to live within my means and still fully experience everything I wanted.”

Unfortunately, returning to work after her break proved to be far more difficult than she had anticipated. The job market wasn’t as welcoming as she’d hoped – she received lowball offers and was ghosted by potential employers. 

“It took me six months to land a suitable role,” she admits. “I won’t lie, it was frustrating. But the experience taught me patience, perseverance, and not to take rejections to heart. Approaching interviews more casually also helped me to manage my expectations,” she adds.

This mindset shift helped Kyla distance herself from the anxiety of rejection. By letting go of the pressure to immediately secure the perfect job, she learnt to view each interview as part of a larger journey rather than a defining moment. This allowed her to stay focused on the bigger picture, building the strength to keep pushing forward despite setbacks.

Kyla’s story is a reminder of the tension between pursuing personal dreams and managing the responsibilities that come with adulthood. After six years in publishing, Kyla found herself ready for a career shift into marketing. 

“Taking time off gave me the space to recalibrate,” she notes. “It wasn’t just about work anymore. It was about finding balance, and realising that life is about more than just a job or a pay cheque. I thought I could just take a break and everything would fall into place, but life doesn’t work that way,” she reflects. 

“There are real financial pressures and responsibilities. But I’ve learnt to balance those with the things that truly make me happy.”

Looking back, Kyla shares a valuable lesson. “Taking a career break was one of the best decisions I made, but it wasn’t a free ride,” she remarks. 

“I had to work hard to make it work, and that experience taught me the importance of preparing for the future, even when you’re living in the moment.”

Before taking a career break, consider the following

• Plan your finances

Build an emergency fund and explore options like freelancing or government support schemes. If you’ve been impacted by involuntary unemployment, such as layoffs, business closures, or health-related reasons, consider applying for the Skillsfuture Jobseeker Support scheme. This programme offers temporary financial support of up to $6,000 over six months, helping you to reskill and find a new job that better leverages your skills and experiences.

• Manage your expectations

Don’t pressure yourself with rigid timelines and expectations. Sending 100 resumes might only lead to a few callbacks, and interviews may not always result in offers. Instead, set small, realistic goals and celebrate your progress – slow is better than stagnant.

• Invest in yourself

Use your break to upskill or pursue personal growth. Make use of government-subsidised Skillsfuture credits to upskill or explore new interests. Identify one thing you’ve always wanted to do and make time for it, whether it’s a course, therapy or volunteering.

• Lean on support

Rely on trusted friends, family, or mentors for guidance. Just talking through challenges with someone you trust can offer fresh perspectives and new opportunities. Otherwise, consider calling the Silver Ribbon, Samaritans of Singapore, or Institute of Mental Health’s mental health helplines for support.

• Keep the faith

The road ahead may seem uncertain, but trust that things will fall into place. When things get tough, remind yourself of the positives – list and remember the things that you’re grateful for, stay focused on your journey, and have faith in yourself.

*Name changed upon request